You know what the world needs? Another reality show. Yup! I said it, another reality show. After this morning’s shenanigan’s with the big reveal of President Obama’s birth certificate and Trump’s idiotic press conference I’ve decided that presidential politics have now devolved into the realm of reality TV programming.
That’s right. I think the 2012 elections should begin in January 2012 with a big launch of 2 new reality programs; one for the republicans and one for the democrats. The shows will be broadcast nightly on CSPAN. Mark Burnett are you listening? We’ll make a fortune. Lobbyists you are free to buy as much commercial air time as you please.
So back to the idea. The project will begin as 2 shows shown nightly from 8-11pm daily on CSPAN. Each party will have a 90 minute show from January through June. Each party’s primary candidates will live in a house together for 6 months at the end of each month there will be a call-in and online vote. On June 30th the candidate with the most votes wins the primary and advances to the general election. No one will be voted off before June 30th so that all candidates have 6 full months to show the country what they are made of. Bill O’Reilly will host the republican program and Keith Olbermann will host the democratic program.
During the 6 month primary season candidates will live and work together. Every Friday there will be a debate on the news of that week moderated by a rotating list of news anchors. Every Sunday morning there will be a special round tablediscussion where the candidates answer questions sent in by voters moderated by Jake Tapper. Each day voters will have the opportunity to see how their candidates for president work with others to solve problems and how they handle stress.
The 2 candidates who advance to the general election will move in together in a new smaller apartment. They’ll be given a budget inline with what the average American family makes and will have to pool their finances to pay rent, utilities and shop for groceries and essentials like socks and toothpaste. This will allow them to understand realistically how much money actual American families operate with on a daily basis. The weekly debates and roundtable discussions will continue and a new feature will be added to the competition. During their stay in the general election house each candidate will have to work on and present aspects of their platforms every Monday and Wednesday. Thursday will be budget day. Every Thursday the 2 candidates will each use 90 mins to discuss how they will manage the country’s finances. They must provide accurate spreadsheets to be uploaded to the show’s website for voters to examine and question.
Late night Saturdays will offer the candidates the opportunity to sit around with the cronies of their choice drinking the adult beverage of their choosing and smoking cigars while shooting the breeze. Bill Maher would be a good fit to host this program.
Mid Summer will be week-long political convention specials. Afterward each vice presidential candidate will also move into the apartment so voters can see how they work as a team. In November voters will go to the polls as always and vote for the candidate of their choice after having watched how they operate and learned about every aspect of their lives for 10 full months.
So that’s it. That’s my idea for how to elect the next president of the United States of America; part Survivor, part Big Brother, part Jersey Shore. What do you think kids? Would you watch? Would you vote? Any ideas for challenges?