O. My. God. I’m feeling awfully damn pissy tonight. I got up at 5:30am. I left the house at 7:30am for an 8:30am appointment, wasn’t even seen by the doctor until at least 9:30am, spent 5 mins with said doctor. Got a call at noon telling me that the radiation machines were down and that the computers weren’t working so there’d be no radiation treatments today and was rescheduled for yet another afternoon appointment tomorrow. It’s not the cancer that’s going to kill me, it’s the effing annoyance and frustration of waiting and making and breaking and shuffling appointments. Damn it! Don’t they know I’m a creature of habit with control freak tendencies?
The good news is my head looking good. It’s skinned over but the skin is still thin, it still needs to toughen up. (oh yeah, insert your jokes here) God willing If all goes well I don’t need to see Dr. Matthews again until July, which God also willing is after my radiation treatments are scheduled to end. She also said that I should leave it uncovered more and no longer need the Xeroform dressing and bandage all the time. She said as long as I keep it moisturized I should be fine. To keep it moisturized I bought some Aquaphor at Target tonight. Aquaphor is what the radiation folks recommend for treating radiation burns anyway and it made by the folks who make the moisturizer I use everyday (Eucerin Calming Cream).
It’s almost midnight and I’m physically exhausted and emotionally drained. With any luck tomorrow will bring my second radiation treatment and everything will be back on track. I’m so disappointed that now my treatments will go until the day after Tommy’s birthday. June 21 would have not only been Tom’s birthday but also the 6 month anniversary of my last appointment with Dr. Bussey where we found out that the blot was no longer in my brain. *sigh* June 21 just seemed to represent so much good karma. I’m trying to hold it together and not let myself get bogged down in semantics of it all.
Thank you all so much for stopping by every day to read and comment. I love you all.
~ Carol Anne