sim appointment

365 Days of Carol Anne (Learning to Love Myself)

Leave a Comment

Days 111, 112, and 113

I’m sorry for my absence. I’m heartbroken that I broke my daily posting promise. I really wanted this to be a daily chronicle of where I am and how I’m feeling. If truth be told I’m feeling kind of crappy right now. I woke up Thursday morning with one eye glued shut. I went to see my primary care doc before heading to the hospital for my sim appointment. As it turns out I have pink eye in both eyes. She said this is most likely a secondary infection caused by the cold I’ve had all week and gave me antibiotic drops to use. So now I’m taking an antibiotic to clear up the original respiratory infection, cough medicine to loosen my cough and antibiotic eye drops to clear up the pink eye. *laughs* You can’t make this stuff up. Oh well, I’ll live.

The sim appointment went well. This new Oncologist changed the position I’ll be in during treatments so I’ll be more comfortable. The first plan would have had me laying face down with my hands underneath me this new plan has me on my back. I’m more comfortable and less anxious in this position. I have another run through in two weeks and then my treatments will start on May 9th. I’m scared to death but I’m glad to finally be moving forward and hopefully seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you so much for stopping by every day to read and comment. I love you all. Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow with a photo.

Love,

~ Carol Anne

365 Days of Carol Anne (Learning to Love Myself) — The Sim Appointment

4 Comments

Day 49

Today was the day of my CAT scan and my sim appointment. The CAT scan was to check if the cancer has spread to my neck from my head. The sim(ulation) appointment was to get me ready for my radiation treatments.

After my CAT scan. We drove over to the hospital so we’d have time to eat at The Oasis restaurant in Cooper University Hospital before my appointment. They have yummy pizza. The service is a little slow so we ended up bringing most of my pizza and our sodas to the appointment with us. I’ll be there 5 days a week for 6 weeks so I’m sure I’ll get to stop in again.

The sim appointment was equal parts terrifying, panic inducing and uncomfortable. The technician brought me back to the CAT scan room where they attached wire to my head to map out where the scars and whatnot are. They also attached bbs for more mapping purposes. Then they had me lay down on my stomach and put my head down on something like the thing you put your head in at the eye doctor’s. I have to lay with my hands down at my side and underneath me. They they cover your head with a paper mâché-like net mask that will hold you head in place during the radiation treatments. I don’t care how much you trust the person doing this or how nice they are. If you’re the tiniest bit claustrophobic it’s panic inducing at the very least. Then they leave the room and start the CAT scan. They made two different masks of the back of my head, one the regular way and one with bolsters so I was scanned twice. I was uncomfortable and scared my eyes welled up with tears during the first scan. I’m not good with helpless and restrained.

The preparation and scans took a while. I think the whole appointment lasted about 90 mins. It was overwhelming. Because the CAT scan emits radiation (I think) you can’t have anyone back there with you. It’s just you and the radiology folks. I’ve gotten use to the Hubs being with me every step of the way. I don’t know how anyone goes through this alone. It would break me. I’m making it through because the hubs says, “We’ll get through this” when I’m scared. I get through this because my brother and my father said, “We’ll make a schedule” when I told them about my radiation schedule.

I have another simulation, a full run through in two weeks; a dress rehearsal of sorts. My radiation treatments are scheduled to start in early April and last for 6 weeks, 5 days a week for a total of 30 treatments and then, God Willing this will all be over. I’m exhausted but I didn’t want to forget any of this so I wanted to get this post written. Thanks for reading.

Love,

~ Carol Anne

365 Days of Carol Anne (Learning to Love Myself)

5 Comments

Day 38

Dig my pretty new scarf! Isn't it nice?


It’s been a long exhausting day. I had my first appointment with the oncologist this afternoon. It was a long scary appointment. The day started off rough and so my already frayed nerves were pretty much unraveled when I arrived at Booth Radiology only to find out that the films I needed to bring with me to the appointment were not ready. According to the girl at the desk the machine was broken on Friday and so nothing got done. Rather than lose it at her I just walked out.

Seriously. They have you leave your information along with a phone number you can be reached at on the answering machine. In my message I asked to pick up my films on Monday morning. If they couldn’t provide the films in the 48 hour time frame they request they should have at least called to let me know ahead of time. Imagine my surprise when I stopped there on my way to the oncologist’s office and the films weren’t there. To say that this was my undoing would be an understatement.

We arrived at the CyberKnife center, which is located down a dead end road (totally thought we were lost) and I filled out all the required paperwork. And then we waited. And waited. Oh and we waited some more. Finally the nurse came out and ushered us into a consultation room where she took my medical history, which she already had. I know this because she corrected me when I forgot that my father’s last bout with skin cancer was in fact melanoma. *shakes head* I think she may have been killing time until the doctor was free to see me. After taking my medical history she offered us the opportunity to sit in the consultation room to continue waiting or go back out in to the waiting room to continue waiting. I opted to stay in the consultation room rather than go backwards in the waiting process.

As it turns out they didn’t have the last progress report from the plastic surgeon so we waited some more while they had the plastic surgeon’s office fax that over. The nurse moved us into the exam room where we waited some more. When he finally arrived he asked us to tell him the story up until this point and then started to discuss the side effects and possible risks associated with radiation treatments. He examined my head and scheduled me for a Sim Appointment next Friday. At the Sim Appointment they’ll map out my head and create a face mask to hold my head still during radiation treatments. *shudder* The nurse told me they can cut the eyes out if I’m claustrophobic. *laughs* You’re going to cover my head in a full mask designed to immobilize my head while you shoot radiation in to my head and you think that cutting the eyes out will make it a less claustrophobic experience? I don’t think so, but okay. *shakes head*

Before the Sim Appointment I need to have another CAT scan, this time of my neck, to check to see if the cancer has spread to any lymph nodes. And OMG! I have to have a pregnancy test. After the Sim appointment they’ll map out a plan for my radiation treatments and after a few weeks my treatments will begin. The treatments will be 5 days a week for 6 weeks. There are no treatments on weekends or holidays.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the pretty wig Martino found for me today.

Love,

~ Carol Anne