phone calls

Day 64

I had an up and down day today. I was supposed to attend my friend Marianne’s brother’s funeral this morning but when the alarm went off at 6am I was just too tired. I was shaky and exhausted and I just couldn’t do it. I feel awful. I should have been there but just couldn’t. Chuck got up and fed the kitties at 8am and let me sleep until almost I think 11am. I felt better by then so we took a quick ride to get Amazon fruit smoothies and soft pretzels for lunch, which is like my big treat for the week. We also picked up some tomato pie from Liscio’s Bakery for dinner later.

When we got home all the paperwork for my upcoming surgery was in the mailbox for me to fill out and send back. I’ll deal with that all on Monday morning. Also in my mailbox this afternoon were two cards, one from my almost lifelong friend Roe and another from my mother’s neighbor Sandy. I should say here that I grew up on a small street in South Philly and to me my neighbors were more like aunts and uncles than just people who lived next door. Both cards were so sweet and so thoughtful and so unexpected they made me cry and brightened my day.

I can’t say it enough. It’s the little things. When you wonder if you should call someone or send a little card or note do it. I know it seems like something so little in the face of some bad stuff. I’m guilty of thinking that any little thing I can do won’t help anything but that’s the wrong way to think. The little unexpected surprises or quick text msg. or Facebook msg. or phone call saying that you’re being thought and to hang in there really do help me get by. My great aunt Gloria, who is a cancer survivor has “adopted” me. Her regular cards and letters make me feel so loved. My brother called the morning I had to tell everyone that I needed a biopsy. (side note: he calls almost every morning) After I told him he changed the subject to Charlie Sheen on Howard Stern that morning so that I wouldn’t have to keep talking about biopsies and cancer. He made me laugh.

On Wednesday when I learned that I’d need more surgery I had a meltdown at the Plastic surgeon’s office. Chuck called out of work that day and stayed with me because he knew I needed him. I didn’t have to ask, he just did. He took me for an Amazon fruit smoothie and soft pretzels (if you’re sensing a pattern, yes these are two of my favorite treats), he took me and the cats for a walk in the beautiful sunshine later that afternoon.

I’m so blessed and so fortunate to have so many wonderful people in my life who care about me and take the time to let me know that I’m loved and cared for. If you know someone who’s sick or feeling down please don’t think that you don’t matter or that there’s nothing that you can do because you don’t have the big answers. I have every card I’ve received since I went in the hospital, every e-mail, every Facebook msg., every text, every voicemail. Even if you just call and talk about the weather or Charlie Sheen please know that you’re a comfort.

Love,

~ Carol Anne