I watched tonight’s Glee even though I haven’t watched in a few seasons. I wanted to see how they bid farewell to Finn/Cory. Watching the show I cried like he was someone I knew personally. I had to take a shower to shake it off. Doing this gave me time to think.

Finn’s/Corey’s send off was beautiful and heartfelt and fantastic but the more I think about it the more I disagree with his sendoff. I keep thinking there are people out there who romanticize the whole idea of people mourning for them. I actually think for the Rachel Berry’s of the world this was an idealized version of their fantasies, everyone offering beautiful remembrances of them. No one once mentioned how he died or drugs.

Die young, leave a beautiful corpse…

I think the most poignant exchange of the whole night was between Coach and Puck under the tree. It’s painfully true, in 50 years no one will remember who Finn/Corey was. Just because he was once young, handsome, and talented doesn’t mean he’ll be remembered to the ages.

Maybe it’s because I’ve fought a battle with cancer and glimpsed my own mortality or maybe it’s because I’ve had some very recent all too real glimpses of my parents’ mortality but in the end, tonight’s sendoff leaves me feeling empty and disappointed.

There are so many people who were once young and beautiful fighting for their lives tonight and this person who threw it all away gets a glorious televised memorial. Dying young isn’t glamourous or romantically tragic, it’s just pitiful and stupid and for everyone who isn’t your parent, sibling, or lover there’ll be another “Quarterback” next year. The candles will be extinguished, the teddy bears and signs will be thrown away and all that will be left is nothingness.

Glee has done a wonderful job or portraying a realer reality than most high school shows but I’m not sure they lived up to their own standards tonight. They portrayed his death as tragically beautiful when in reality it was senseless and stupid.