I’m frustrated tonight. I didn’t sleep at all last night because I had to be up at 5:30am to be at the lab for my pre-op blood work at 6am so Chuck could take me before work. I ended up falling asleep mid morning so now I’m not tired at all. I’m totally not up for another sleepless night. I have an appointment with my new oncologist tomorrow afternoon. I’d like to be in a good frame of mind when I meet her. *sigh*
But what’s actually frustrating me is the phone call I received this afternoon. The plastic surgeon’s office called to let me know that something has come up and my surgery has been rescheduled to next week. I wonder if doctors and hospitals realize that it’s not just the patient who is affected? With the surgery scheduled for Friday, Chuck was able to be home with me Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Now he’ll only be able to be home the day of surgery and maybe the day after. Not to mention that I’m scared to death and just want this all to be over. I don’t want to be put to sleep and I don’t want to have a breathing tube down my throat again. I’m afraid and pushing surgery back just gives me more time to worry. Ugh!
Thank you for coming back each day and reading.
~ Carol Anne
Glory be to God. My biopsy results came back negative. The cancer has not spread. I have for the last hour sat here trying to decide what to write tonight. I’m so grateful to God that the cancer has not spread. It’s been an overwhelmingly long 2 weeks. We both haven’t slept since finding out that I had two enlarged lymph nodes. We’re both so exhausted and so grateful. Thank you all for your prayers and your well wishes and your support.
I was so afraid to be alone to hear bad news. The hubs offered to stay home with me today. I knew we have many more days that I’ll need him to take time off of work so I sent him in. We called at 10am on conference call (him at work, me at home) and got voice mail. I left my cell number and we waited. By 1pm we’d still not heard anything and so we conference called again. Again we got voice mail. This time we tried to the radiation oncology department general number and spoke to a girl named Tracie. She terrified us. She said that she had my chart right there and that I had an appointment next week and that we’d be able to discuss my results then. *insert worried faces on both of us here* I told her that the department director told me she’d have someone get back to me by today. Tracie promised to have either Dr. Hughes (my new oncologist) or a nurse call me back.
Colleen called me almost immediately after we hung up with Tracie. I told her that I’d called and spoke to Tracie. Colleen promised that either herself or Dr. Hughes would call me by day’s end. Minutes later Colleen called back to let me know that she’d spoken to Dr. Hughes and Dr. Hughes told her to let me know that the biopsy had come back negative. It’s a good thing that I was sitting because I’m quite sure my legs wouldn’t have held me at that point. I could barely keep from crying as I called Chuck, my mom, my brother and my sister-in-law to tell them that my cancer had not spread.
I do not exaggerate when I tell you I’m grateful for my life tonight. I’m going to get spiritual on you for a moment. Today’s good news, my entire recovery, they are testaments to the power of prayer and the power of positive energy. So many people prayed (and still do) for me, so many people had masses said for me or added my name to intention and prayer lists. People I’ve never met prayed for me. I prayed for me. Still more lit candles for me and sent good energy into the universe for me. It’s humbling. I keep saying this but it’s true, you matter. Every good thought, every candle lit, every prayer matters. I’m surrounded by so much love and I have such an amazing family and support system. I am so blessed and so fortunate to have each and every one of you in life. Thank you. I love and appreciate you all.
If you see Chuck or my parents or Tommy and Arlene give them a hug. They need it. They’ve been living and dying through all this with me, wearing brave faces all the while.
Thanks for reading tonight.
~ Carol Anne
Good evening girls and boys. Happy Friday! I don’t have much to report tonight. I didn’t do much today and the hubs worked tonight so it was just me and the kitties for most of the night. Snowy joined me on the couch for a short while.
I missed the hubs but it was a nice quiet day before a week full of doctor’s appointments and tomorrow’s (pregnancy) blood test. *laughs* Don’t get excited. I have to have one to rule pregnancy out before my radiation treatments start.