Major Surgery & the Road to Recovery

365 Days of Carol Anne (My Head is Symmetrical)

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Day 21

*laughs* Yep! You heard it here first. My head is symmetrical. *laughs*

This from the mouth of my neurosurgeon. *shakes head* You just never know where the day will take you. Today it took me to the neurosurgeon’s office where in addition to telling me that my head is symmetrical (he sure knows how to flatter a girl, doesn’t he?) he also informed me that the blood clot in my brain is gone and I no longer have to take the Lovenox. Not having to take the Lovenox means that I don’t have to inject a needle int to my stomach twice a day anymore, which means no more bruises, hard little knots or dry patches of skin (from the alcohol swabs) on my stomach. Yay !!!

He doesn’t want to see me again until after the radiation is done. In regard to the radiation he says this type of cancer (basal cell) responds well to the radiation. All the details and appointments will be taken care of by the oncologist’s office. Dr. Bussey (the neurosurgeon) will have the oncologist’s office call me to set everything up.

So that’s it for the day. My wounds are still healing (another 2 or 3 months says the plastic surgeon as of last Wednesday), the blood clot is gone and radiation is next. 2 hurdles down. 1 to go.

Thanks for reading!

Love,

~ Carol Anne

365 Days of Carol Anne (Learning to Love Myself)

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Day 20

Well kids the eyes have it tonight. *laughs* A very good friend called me tonight and I spent some time talking to her and forgot to take a picture of me before taking a shower. So tonight I offer you a photo of my favorite feature, my eyes. I promise I took it just now. I really want to keep up with this project and keep looking at myself and reminding myself that I am beautiful so rather than skip a night I took a picture of me unbandaged and cropped it down to just eyes.

Rachel, thanks for your phone call and your time tonight. I enjoyed your company. I’m sorry you missed American Idol. (((hugs)))

365 Days of Carol Anne (Learning to Love Myself)

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Day 19

I’m working on figuring out how to get a good picture of me. I’ll figure out how to get the right light yet. This one’s edited for exposure with Flickr’s photo editing program, Picnik because the original was too dark.

I’m feeling less anxious today. Thanks for listening yesterday. I promise the overwrought posts will be kept to a minimum. Sleep well. I love you all.

Love,

~ Carol Anne

365 Days of Carol Anne (Learning to Love Myself)

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Day 18


It’s day 18 of my quest to learn to better love myself and 3 days until my appointment with the neurosurgeon. This is where the serious talk about radiation and cancer treatments will begin. This is where I’ll find out if the blood clot is gone or if I’ll have to continue taking blood thinners and giving myself a shot twice a day. I’m so nervous. There are days when I just believe this is where I am in my life. I can’t believe I’m living this. I’m consumed with fear tonight. I was alright all day but as the day wore on the thought of having to discuss cancer treatments and making appointments with oncologists just overwhelmed me. I don’t know where we go from here. I can’t see me being any calmer as this week wears on. I’m torn between hoping for a blizzard on Friday so I don’t have to go and wishing my appointment was tomorrow so I could just get it over with.

I know there’s no sense in worrying. It’s not as though I can just decide not to have the radiation. This is going to happen no matter what so I’d be better off just taking a deep breath and dealing with it. I know that I am not the one in control and that I should just let go and be brave but I’m terrified. When I think of things upcoming I wonder if I’ll be able to be there. I wonder if I’ll be well. I wonder how long I’ll have to have radiation. I wonder if there’ll be chemo too or if radiation will be enough. I’m scared of the side effects of radiation and even more terrified of the effects of chemo. Up until Dr. Matthews (plastic surgeon) cleared me for radiation these were only thoughts briefly floating by in my head. None of this was concrete because I was not yet cleared for radiation. Now that it’s upon me I have moments when I can barely breath from the fear.