Day 167
25 treatments down, 7 to go. Tomorrow starts the narrower field of radiation treatments. I had a better day today. I dragged myself out of my nasty hateful mood and got on with living. I think it was the amazing moment I witnessed this morning that helped me greet the day with a better attitude. I was watching out back looking at the birds come and go from the feeder. While bird watching I saw a male and a female northern cardinal. The male would hop around on the feeder, jump down and feed the female. That small token of love or affection or both lightened my mood. I was grateful to the universe for the opportunity to watch such a pure act of love/affection.
I still have moments of anxiety when I let myself think about not being done on Wednesday but I’m not feeling as mean-spirited, hateful or demoralized as I’ve been lately. I guess that’s a start, right?
What you’re going through is more than the average person could actually know or take. I have watched my wife go through the same ordeal as you, though, her treatments weren’t as long as yours still, it’s quite an ordeal. I had to sit down and pray not only for a speedy recovery for her but also for me to have the strength to be there for her when she was in a mean-spirited, sometimes demoralizing, and sometimes a self-pity state of mind. I know that she didn’t mean to be in those states and she came through it. And may I also say that it really does “test” one. I admire your courage and in just a few more treatments it’ll be over. This disease tends to leave some people very bitter, I don’t see that in you. Well, don’t won’t to ramble on just wanted to let you know that you do have someone on Twitter who does listen. Godspeed.
>>> This disease tends to leave some people very bitter, I don’t see that in you. <<<
Thank you for this. It means a lot to me. I appreciate your kind words.
Oh! one more thing I simply love your “About Me” section here; it’s so refreshing to read about someone who speaks so honestly. (It’s just so rare these days ~too many self-indulged folks) Well, take good care!
*laughs* Thanks, though I’d probably admit to being both honest and self-indulgent.
I’m glad to hear that you’re in a good mood. It must be scary what you’re going through… but I agree that the simplest act of affection can work wonders, even if it’s only the animal kingdom… or the blogiverse. ::hugs::
stopping in from the lbs tea party.
Classic thanks for stopping by. I love readers!
I love watching the birds. We have a set of Robin parents who are flying around with their babies and still collecting bugs to feed their young babies. It’s interesting to watch the animal world. You would think so much is instinctual when actually most of it is taught the the babies by the parents. We watch the same dynamics take place with the squirrels. The mama squirrel shows her babies how to gather food, cross the fence safely, etc. It’s a joy to watch. Sending healing energy your way. Going through stages of anger is normal but focusing on the positive and surrounding yourself with positive people and energy can help. I recently met a wonderful lady who survived cancer and is very up beat. You can connect with her on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/nadine.ndcns
Thanks Carol, I’ll have to check out her Facebook page.