25 treatments down, 7 to go. Tomorrow starts the narrower field of radiation treatments. I had a better day today. I dragged myself out of my nasty hateful mood and got on with living. I think it was the amazing moment I witnessed this morning that helped me greet the day with a better attitude. I was watching out back looking at the birds come and go from the feeder. While bird watching I saw a male and a female northern cardinal. The male would hop around on the feeder, jump down and feed the female. That small token of love or affection or both lightened my mood. I was grateful to the universe for the opportunity to watch such a pure act of love/affection.
I still have moments of anxiety when I let myself think about not being done on Wednesday but I’m not feeling as mean-spirited, hateful or demoralized as I’ve been lately. I guess that’s a start, right?